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orangepeel19 wrote:

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In my dream she got pregnant by someone random, and died during childbirth
So I went into this mode where I don't cry, but I go silent and emotionless. I'm shooting hoops somewhere with my mom, of all people, and she doesnt say anything. I keep going "Do you not realize what has just happened?!" and it's like I'm alone in the wake of the world even though she has millions of mourning fans. The whole time this dream is going on, "The Hook Up" is playing in the background, I mean wtf. The only connection to that, is it's my incoming text ringtone. Anyway so I wake up BALLING my face off. It was ridiculous. I got out of bed to wash my face and went downstairs to eat something, crying the whole time thinking she had died. And then I was like wait...how did I find out she died, if I only went from my bed, to the kitchen?? So after an hour, I realized it was a nightmare but for some reason I didn't feel too much better. I felt more lame though. This morning I had to check the news just to make sure nothing crazy had happened and I was relieved to see it was a normal day. You are now free to laugh but it messed me up

I got tears in my eyes just reading your story. Seriously, I don't know if I could cope if she died. I know that sounds so stupid but I went into a deep depression when she and Justin broke up.