My brother got kicked out of school and has been lying

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RandomA1	My brother got kicked out of school and has been lying	Lead	[-]
Posts: 775 (08/22/2008 11:40 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	about it for months. I'm so upset right now. Not so much about the getting kicked out part but the fact that he's doing this to my parents AGAIN (he's lied/tried to cover up a bunch of different incidents in the past but nothing like this). He even went so far as to give my parents bogus grades for 2 years, try to get reinstated behind their backs, see if he could take out a loan to cover the expenses of his brand new apartment if my parents found out about this, etc. He refuses to come back and has the tuition money that my mom gave him to pay the bill that never came. I honestly don't know wtf is wrong with him because obviously something is since he always tries to keep this charades going until he gets caught. I swear he's a pathological liar. This kind of stuff has been going on for years (to a lesser degree) and I was hoping that it was finally done after high school. Guess not. My parents tell me that I should call him and if I do, I should try to be supportive. However I don't know whether or not I should . I'm really not that close with him and I probably wouldn't be able to talk without bursting into tears. Any advice? Also has anyone been in this type of situation before? Edited By: RandomA1 08/23/2008 12:03 AM. Edited 3 times.
eternalfairytale		#1	[-]
Posts: 31826 (08/22/2008 11:48 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	My cousin is pretty much ruining her life through drugs (not proven, but it's our opinion) and through a loser ass boyfriend she's been with for FAR too long. Honestly, sadly as it is, he has to fall on his ass by himself. I mean if he has been doing this charade for years, then obviously he's been building up these lies for a long time. There has to be a reason why he thinks everything will end up being okay. To be completely honest, I wouldn't call him. If he doesn't have the nerve to get up and tlak to his parents and tell him the truth by himself, you shouldn't be worked into his schemes.
IMissKD		#2	[-]
Posts: 538 (08/22/2008 11:49 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Kind of, but not really. I found out my younger brother (a year younger than me) was stealing money from my bank account after taking my credit card out of my wallet. He stole money from my parents, sold my mom's earphones to her iPod and stole my iPod. Turns out he used all that money to buy cocain. Thank God he got arrested and was court ordered into a rehab program. He's doing great now, which I'm super happy about. I'm not saying your brother is using, though. But I know how you feel about the situation. I would try and confront him and ask him why. Maybe the tears will help. It'll show him that you are emotionally involved when it comes to him. When I talked to my brother before he went into rehab about everything I started to cry, which made him cry. But yea, just ask him. He may tell you why he's doing it...
Spaztastik		#3	[-]
Posts: 79093 (08/22/2008 11:54 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Your parents should stop paying for him
BooBooKittyPuck		#4	[-]
Posts: 2687 (08/22/2008 11:55 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	These days you can just slap a disorder on someone and their excused.
RandomA1		#5	[-]
Posts: 776 (08/22/2008 11:55 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	I kinda wish I was closer to him just so I could have known what's going on with him. I may have to ask my cousin since she may know more. I'm sure he's into some bad stuff and it doesn't help that I think his best friend is a huge loser who helps him get into trouble (while everyone thinks he's such a nice kid). I just hope that he tells the truth about everything and the reasons for it. I'm not sure if he will though because he's kinda afraid of my dad but I think there needs to be some open dialogue between himself and my parents.
eternalfairytale		#6	[-]
Posts: 31828 (08/22/2008 11:55 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Spaztastik wrote: Your parents should stop paying for him agreed. The more they support him, the more he's going to be doing this and not learning that all the lying and deceptiveness has to stop
RandomA1		#7	[-]
Posts: 777 (08/23/2008 12:00 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Spaztastik wrote: Your parents should stop paying for him I know! When my mom told me about him having the tuition, I told her that she needs to get that money back ASAP. She was thinking of maybe letting him have it to live off down there while he gets back on his feet Are you effin' kidding me?!?!? I told her not to and that she'd just be rewarding devious behavior. His whole problem is that he's been babied all of his life and that my parents were way too lax with him in high school when he pulled similar stunts so his problem snowballed.
roooooo32		#8	[-]
Posts: 2586 (08/23/2008 12:01 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	The story reminds me a lot of my sister. There's no reason for it on my sister's part she doesn't and has never done drugs, we grew up in a great supportive family and she has a great job. My parents, especially my mother still do whatever they can to help her out and support her and she still screws them over every single time but they feel like they can't just abandon their daughter. It is a really painful thing to see your parents go through that, especially because they blame themselves. Like her behaviour is somehow a result of their parenting skills. I don't have much to do with my sister anymore. I don't support her in any way shape or form neither do my other sisters. The worst part is that she has her fiance convinced that we're some horrible family that has done her wrong because she hears her side of the story not the stuff we've been put through because of her bullshit. He's brainwashed man.
Spaztastik		#9	[-]
Posts: 79097 (08/23/2008 12:02 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	Enablers
IMissKD		#10	[-]
Posts: 540 (08/23/2008 12:05 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	eternalfairytale wrote: Spaztastik wrote: Your parents should stop paying for him agreed. The more they support him, the more he's going to be doing this and not learning that all the lying and deceptiveness has to stop That may lead to stealing it, though. Hopefully it won't get that far, but it happens...
RandomA1		#11	[-]
Posts: 778 (08/23/2008 12:25 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	BooBooKittyPuck wrote: These days you can just slap a disorder on someone and their excused. My mom mentioned that she thinks that he has some psychological problems and should seek counseling. She thinks that the death of our grandfather and the sudden death of his friend some months apart may have affected him and that she should have put him in counseling then 2 years ago (mostly because of the friend's death). Honestly I don't know what to think. He's had problems with lying for years so I doubt the deaths affected him in that way. However my brother told her that coming back home for the funeral and missing however much time put him behind and he never caught up. Again I think he was lying though for sympathy because that wouldn't make sense for the following semesters (since you obviously start with a "clean slate" each time). He was never the school type so...yeah. Hopefully he'll find a passion as far as work that he enjoys whether or not that involves a college education.
lilacrose82		#12	[-]
Posts: 12561 (08/23/2008 12:26 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	My sister's kind of pulled the same thing on a lesser scale. She had a full ride to college, but she lost her scholarship by partying too much. She moved out of the dorms and got a shithole of an apartment, then lied to my parents about how much that cost. She somehow conviced my parents to co-sign a ton of her long that she never really paid. She got pregnant and dropped out of school for a semester and didn't tell them until it was too late. Now, her loans have ballooned out of control and she still refuses pay them. My parents already paid one off only to save their credit status, but she just told my mom that she doesn't care about the loans and will pay them when she's ready. I'm sorry your brother did this to your family. I know how difficult it is to handle. Honestly, I would do my best not to get caught in the middle. It's hard, but it's the best thing you can do.
eternalfairytale		#13	[-]
Posts: 31830 (08/23/2008 12:27 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	IMissKD wrote: eternalfairytale wrote: Spaztastik wrote: Your parents should stop paying for him eventually everything catches up to you in the end. agreed. The more they support him, the more he's going to be doing this and not learning that all the lying and deceptiveness has to stop That may lead to stealing it, though. Hopefully it won't get that far, but it happens...
RandomA1		#14	[-]
Posts: 779 (08/23/2008 12:37 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	oh and I forgot to mention that he took a road trip down there with his loser best friend and a couple of people so he has all of that money to waste on them Honestly I wouldn't put it past him since he's already dug his grave and he's been known to go through money like water. My parents are coming tomorrow (which they had already planned before this unraveled) so I'm going to tell my mom to get her money back right away.
eternalfairytale		#15	[-]
Posts: 31835 (08/23/2008 12:48 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Friend Block Invite Ignore	i wish you the best of luck. it could be a great situation which they take control or a worse situation in which they choose to ignore it

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My brother got kicked out of school and has been lying

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