Scenario:
You are a single female, almost 30 who would like to get married and have children at some point. An ex who you parted ways with on good terms, not because he
cheated or anything like that but because you guys just weren't looking for anything too serious keeps bringing up getting back together and getting
married. He would make a great husband and father BUT you just don't really feel that "spark" with him. Would you consider getting back together
and even marrying him? 
JJB, Would you settle?
| Started By | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 jus4lafs |
JJB, Would you settle? |
Lead | |
|
Posts: 810 (08/14/2009 8:54 AM) |
|
||
|
Semirhage626 |
|||
|
Posts: 7117 (08/14/2009 8:57 AM) |
Nope. I'd rather adopt on my own.
|
||
|
POProcks08 |
|||
|
Posts: 2481 (08/14/2009 8:58 AM) |
Um, that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. Marriages fall apart when the two DO have that "spark." Two people who merely tolerate each other
probably won't have that much luck.
|
||
|
Alex the Goob |
|||
|
Posts: 51651 (08/14/2009 9:00 AM) |
POProcks08 wrote: |
||
|
Olivia725 |
|||
|
Posts: 2016 (08/14/2009 9:02 AM) |
No, eventually it will come back and bite you in the ass. Not saying there has to be fireworks but there has to be at least a firecracker. It will end up
hurting the kids later on too.
|
||
|
thread killer 00 |
|||
|
Posts: 3992 (08/14/2009 9:23 AM) |
Holy shit, are you serious? Hell no! If you have kids with this fella, what are you going to say? "I married your daddy because I was almost 30 and he
wasn't the worst guy in the world, so I said 'Meh, why not'."
Being single and almost 30 is not a big deal. Get some standards and don't ever settle. |
||
|
Alex the Goob |
|||
|
Posts: 51656 (08/14/2009 9:23 AM) |
^^ ITA.
|
||
 AudaciousAudrey |
|||
|
Posts: 28847 (08/14/2009 9:27 AM) Biggest Know It All '09
|
Alex the Goob wrote: |
||
|
Hamptonic |
|||
|
Posts: 1937 (08/14/2009 9:29 AM) |
I agree with everyone in this thread.
I know many many many people who married because of the above reason or because it was the next step, or the thing to do and every single one of them is unhappy. If they are content it is not with their relationship. The relationship falls to the background and is just "there". A beige life. Is that what you want? The kids bring stress and eventually leave- then what? You're stuck with a partner you really just exist with- if you're even still together. 30 isn't old. At all. Nowadays at least where I live young moms tend to be scarce and most are having their first mid-30's. Don't sacrifice. Please. For your future kids sake. They deserve to know that their parents loved eachother- it's a great feeling. |
||
|
jus4lafs |
|||
|
Posts: 811 (08/14/2009 9:30 AM) |
 Don't worry people.... I'm not one to settle nor am I
planning on it... I'd rather be alone and miserable than with someone and miserable... This is what I tell him all the time but he just keeps trying to
convince me that we'll make it work  .... I'm NOT buying it....
Just wanted to know your thoughts...
|
||
|
Molieshka |
|||
|
Posts: 1384 (08/14/2009 9:31 AM) |
My sister in law didn't find my brother until she was 37! They got married almost 2 years later and now they have a BEAUTIFUL (and perfectly healthy) baby
boy.
They really are made for each other and I can't imagine if either had settled. She is perfect for my brother and not only are they madly in love but they will be best friends for life- which is HUGE in a marriage |
||
|
VelvetRope11 |
|||
|
Posts: 31315 (08/14/2009 9:32 AM) |
Fuck. No.
1) Why would I want to spend my life with someone who only has medicore feelings for me? I deserve, we both deserve, better than that. 2) Why would I want to have children in a marriage, where those children will have a "tolerable" marriage as an example of what a marriage should be? I would walk through hell and back before I would let my children settle for marrying someone who doesn't love them completely and vice versa. |
||
|
MeParley |
|||
|
Posts: 15269 (08/14/2009 9:39 AM) |
I'd consider going out with him again to see if the relationship could actually be better than it was before. I wouldn't make any commitment at
all--I'd just play it by ear and see if perhaps something meaningful develops.
Sometimes people break up and reconnect years later and it turns out to be better the second time. Also, if you love everything about the person and feel he'd be a good partner for you, you have to judge whether the lack of "spark" is something you can live with and still be content and happy. Only you can make that decision. I don't think you should just dismiss the guy without some serious thinking about it. |
||
|
tackyblueeyeshadow |
|||
|
Posts: 7639 (08/14/2009 9:40 AM) |
Hell no.
|
||
|
jus4lafs |
|||
|
Posts: 812 (08/14/2009 9:45 AM) |
Molieshka wrote:Yay for them!!! 
|
||
|
JCloves |
|||
|
Posts: 200 (08/14/2009 9:46 AM) |
id settle. grow to love him
|
||
