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GonnaBeStronger	People who live with their partners...	Lead	[-]
Posts: 2083 (10/15/2009 5:05 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Do you have friends who just don't quite seem to get that at the end of the day, you don't necessarily want to go out for drinks or anything, but that you sometimes just want to go home and be with your S/O? I have a friend who is always asking me and my partner to hang out/go out at night and when I say that I'll check in and let her know, she always says "Or you could just come!" I just don't think she quite gets that I live with my partner because I love going home and being with her and not having to go out all the time Anyone else deal with this? I just get tired of constantly having to defend the fact that I just want to go home.
LancezBabybug		#1	[-]
Posts: 2832 (10/15/2009 5:26 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	For me to understand I'd have to actually have friends besides my S/O so.... no
OhManImScrewed		#2	[-]
Posts: 18047 (10/15/2009 5:35 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I kind of get that because I don't live with my SO but sometimes I just want to spend the night with him alone and my one friend does NOT accept that. She thinks it is like the worst and most pathetic thing in the world. She always makes me feel guilty if I don't want to go out with her instead of spending the night with my boyfriend. It's OK to want to be along sometimes!
SharrywasBanned		#3	[-]
Posts: 1616 (10/15/2009 5:36 PM) JJB Devil '09 Reply Quote More Recent Posts	LancezBabybug wrote: For me to understand I'd have to actually have friends besides my S/O so.... no That sucks. I get that sometimes, but most of my friends understand my situation in having to watch my nieces, and the fact that I live with BF.
KellySD		#4	[-]
Posts: 269 (10/15/2009 6:00 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	LancezBabybug wrote: For me to understand I'd have to actually have friends besides my S/O That's pretty pathetic. I have a ton of friends besides my fiance. So does my sister, who lives with her boyfriend. If you have no friends outside your SO, your relationship is doomed to implode and die.
AngelsTearDrop		#5	[-]
Posts: 22497 (10/15/2009 6:03 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	KellySD wrote: LancezBabybug wrote: For me to understand I'd have to actually have friends besides my S/O That's pretty pathetic. I have a ton of friends besides my fiance. So does my sister, who lives with her boyfriend. If you have no friends outside your SO, your relationship is doomed to implode and die. You're so dumb.
VelvetRope11		#6	[-]
Posts: 32158 (10/15/2009 6:05 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	AngelsTearDrop wrote: KellySD wrote: LancezBabybug wrote: For me to understand I'd have to actually have friends besides my S/O That's pretty pathetic. I have a ton of friends besides my fiance. So does my sister, who lives with her boyfriend. If you have no friends outside your SO, your relationship is doomed to implode and die. You're so dumb. Reminds me of "Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!"
Kwis77		#7	[-]
Posts: 19721 (10/15/2009 6:09 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	You could just say, "No, we're just going to hang out at home tonight."
MandsLB8		#8	[-]
Posts: 5315 (10/15/2009 6:09 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Yeah that sucks! I have a 3 year old and another on the way.. so I can't just go out for drinks whenever I want anyway and my friends get that. But, I can't really say that I have a lot of friends who hit up the bar on a week day after work anyway. Most of my friends have a lot of responsibilites and not a lot of time.
SharrywasBanned		#9	[-]
Posts: 1618 (10/15/2009 6:10 PM) JJB Devil '09 Reply Quote More Recent Posts	KellySD wrote: LancezBabybug wrote: For me to understand I'd have to actually have friends besides my S/O That's pretty pathetic. I have a ton of friends besides my fiance. So does my sister, who lives with her boyfriend. If you have no friends outside your SO, your relationship is doomed to implode and die. Do you enjoy exaggerating?
VelvetRope11		#10	[-]
Posts: 32159 (10/15/2009 6:10 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Like another has said, from your wording it seems like you'd rather come home mostly than go out, so why don't you tell her "Listen, I'm really just someone who likes to hang out at home with my s/o. If we or I do feel like coming out, you'll be the first to know."
RandomA1		#11	[-]
Posts: 3141 (10/15/2009 6:27 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Courtney Love1 wrote: While I agree with what you're saying in general, I have to say that from you way you worded your OP, it sounds like you are constantly turning her down and ALWAYS going home to be with your SO. It's one thing to enjoy spending time with your SO, it's another when you completely spend all your time with them and never do anything without them unless you've 'checked in' with them. So just be careful about constantly turning down friends to go be with your SO, because eventually your friends will get fed up with being turned down and stop asking you altogether. So you might end up having all the 'alone time' you want with your SO because she'll be the only person in your life. Fortunately my friends have been good about balancing SOs with friends. However one of them (who got a bf a few months ago) is becoming really annoying. If her bf isn't available to go, she won't go and if she does come, he's ALWAYS with her. The other thing is that they ignore the rest of us for the most part. It's all well and good if she wants to hang out with her bf, but she can't spend a few hours without him? (And it's not like we invite her to do stuff all the time....maybe once every 7-14 days). Edited By: RandomA1 10/15/2009 6:30 PM. Edited 2 times.
GonnaBeStronger		#12	[-]
Posts: 2084 (10/15/2009 6:37 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Good advice I think I'm mostly frustrated because she makes me feel guilty if I want to spend a night in just chilling, regardless of whether my partner is coming, staying home, or even doing something else. I have plans with this friend Saturday and Monday already and I just feel backed into a corner with her. I definitely need to be a little better about seeing friends (with and without my partner), but I'm just getting annoyed by the constant invitations to do something and guilt trips when I don't.
Kwis77		#13	[-]
Posts: 19724 (10/15/2009 6:38 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Then just be honest with her. Your priorities are different than hers. Let her know.
VelvetRope11		#14	[-]
Posts: 32162 (10/15/2009 6:47 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	Yeah, if you're annoyed at being invited to stuff, just tell her to stop asking. But on the flipside, couple of months down the road when no one is asking you and your partner to do anything you can't really complain because you got what you wanted.
LancezBabybug		#15	[-]
Posts: 2834 (10/15/2009 6:49 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I do have people I talk to and hang out with during the day. I would NEVER do anything with them outside and it never even crossed my mind to ask them to drinks. My fiance and I have been together for 7 years, when should I wait for the relationship to "implode" and fall apart? 10 years? Maybe next year! I had friends but then we moved 3000 miles away, do you know how hard it is to make friends when you a) move and b) lose your job due to the economy? I have no job and had moved to a place where I knew no one. So not have friends to go out drinking with isn't really that hard to understand.
GCisPC		#16	[-]
Posts: 2224 (10/15/2009 7:04 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts	I hang out with my S/O every night . We have other friends but its always so much more fun when we are together, we include eachother in most plans. But I do understand what you are saying!

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