I would be so upset. And the way she is manipulating your daughter is terrible. I feel bad for you for having to deal with this. 
I AM SO F'ING ANNOYED*Ur Never gonna believe..
| Started By | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 McKennaWasBanned |
|||
|
Posts: 18185 (11/02/2009 12:58 PM) |
|
||
|
MandsLB8 |
|||
|
Posts: 5848 (11/02/2009 12:59 PM) |
NancyOttawa wrote: this is exactly why I just have to suck it up and deal with it. I guess when it comes down to it, it's just a vacation. It sucks that I was really looking forward to it- but what can I really do and still keep the peace? I would love to never see or associate with his family again.. and tell them how I really feel, but that just wouldn't work out. |
||
|
AngelsTearDrop |
|||
|
Posts: 22636 (11/02/2009 1:00 PM) |
It sounds like your husband needs to man up a bit. It's not right that's she's doing this to you.
|
||
|
MandsLB8 |
|||
|
Posts: 5849 (11/02/2009 1:01 PM) |
yeah he does need to grow a pair. I'll be the first one to admit it!
I'm going to lay down now though. Adriana's taking a nap and I have a headache. thanks for letting me vent JJB. |
||
|
Olivia725 |
|||
|
Posts: 2384 (11/02/2009 1:03 PM) |
You can't control what she does or where she goes. Doesn't sound like you can have a sit down chat with her either. Your hubby could tell her to fly
with her sister and stay somewhere else, but that is going to cause hard feelings. Manipulative people suck. Sad she is dragging your daughter into it too. I
feel for you and Good Luck.
|
||
|
brilliantbrunette |
|||
|
Posts: 91 (11/02/2009 1:08 PM) |
AngelsTearDrop wrote: |
||
|
Kisses4NSync |
|||
|
Posts: 12345 (11/02/2009 1:08 PM) |
Well she is his mother and always will be. I certaintly wouldn't be able to tell my mother, "no you can't come." I mean, would you be able to
say that to your mother? Even though she's annoying, you're all family now like it or not and you need to learn to get along for the sake of your
daughter.
I don't like what she's doing to your daughter, though so I do sympathize with you on that end. I hope it all works out for you. |
||
 Mistress Darcy |
|||
|
Posts: 12285 (11/02/2009 1:11 PM) |
I feel bad for you because either way you are screwed. You either give in and let her do whatever she wants or openly be the "bad" guy which will
cause issues with him and possibly your daughter. IT sucks that a grown woman would put her daughter-in-law in that position. Hopefully, it will work out.
|
||
|
coboardgirl |
|||
|
Posts: 7871 (11/02/2009 1:12 PM) |
Mistress Darcy wrote:Yup. It's a horrible situation. And she's not just putting her daughter in law in it, she's pinning her son in a bad situation, too. |
||
|
iwantjcslips |
|||
|
Posts: 17838 (11/02/2009 1:18 PM) |
Wow, sorry to hear that. I have someone in my life that sounds like your MIL. ANNOYING.
I hope y'all work everything out, and get to go & have fun! |
||
|
britalicious |
|||
|
Posts: 1423 (11/02/2009 1:22 PM) |
i think that there's a way to talk about this with her without causing bad blood. i'm assuming she doesn't realize the effect her being so
overbearing is having on you. i wouldn't ask my husband to talk to her, i'd want to do it myself- you're in a powerful position as a mother. just
ask if you can sit down with her and have a heart to heart.
explain that you can see how important being a mom and grandma is to her, and you understand because you feel the same way. then say something like 'i'm sure you love having a special relationship with your son, and sharing some things just between the two of you- i'd like to have that with my daughter, too. can you understand that?' and maybe offer to let her have some other time with your daughter after the trip- or tell her that you realize Disney has special meaning to her, so you're okay letting her be a part of the trip if she respects that certain times are just going to be for you, your husband, and your kid (maybe plan a special couple things you want to do) and then the rest of time, take advantage that she's around- let her babysit, ask her for advice. i think if you talk to people like they are equals and calmly explain your point of view, she might get the picture without you needing to call names or show how upset you are. for the record, you're totally right about this- and some people will prey on you being too afraid to create an awkward situation by bringing up your hurt feelings. don't let that happen. |
||
|
KristinWasBanned |
|||
|
Posts: 3352 (11/02/2009 1:22 PM) |
I'd have your husband reply and explain that this is a very special family trip for him, you, and your daughter, and maybe make plans to go to a local
amusement park with her. She's already gotten to experience Disney with her own children for the first time - this is your chance to have that with your
own daughter.
Edited By: KristinWasBanned
11/02/2009 3:17 PM.
Edited 1 times.
|
||
|
subpar |
|||
|
Posts: 464 (11/02/2009 1:23 PM) |
wow. way creepy and passive aggressive.
|
||
|
Kwis77 |
|||
|
Posts: 20034 (11/02/2009 1:24 PM) |
I'm with you; I'd be annoyed, too.
Do not let her go with you. Tell your husband to tell her it's just for you guys.
|
||
|
grayspeckledgoose |
|||
|
Posts: 15979 (11/02/2009 1:25 PM) |
He needs to be a big boy, and tell his mother where you two stand on the issue. I am assuming he knows how much her actions and attitude bother you...he needs
to tell her that.
|
||
|
grayspeckledgoose |
|||
|
Posts: 15980 (11/02/2009 1:27 PM) |
Kisses4NSync wrote:Hell yes I would! If my mother was acting like the OP's MIL, I would tell her straight up how it is. Family or not, the line has to be drawn somewhere. This isn't a mom who's being innocent with her actions... |
||
|
SleepToDreamTonight |
|||
|
Posts: 12748 (11/02/2009 1:31 PM) Most Intelligent '03 |
I think you should tell your husband that this was meant to be a vacation with just your family and not the extended bunch. The best thing to do is to tell
your MIL that you would love to go to Disney with her someday but right now you'd like for your husband and yourself to experience this trip with your
daughter alone. There is a time for family vacations that include the extended family and there is a time for you and your husband to be alone with your child
and making your own traditions and memories.
I hate when people invite themselves on trips that weren't meant for them, sometimes you do have to suck it up and just go forward with it, but sometimes you have to take a stand and put your foot down. You need to let your husband know that you are not okay with his mother butting in and that if he can't stand up and tell her no once and for all then you'll do it. Even if it means your MIL getting mad at you, at least you'll know you stood up for your family and eventually she'll get over it. Either way, whether you decide to tell your MIL no or you decide to keep the peace and let her go, I hope you have a wonderful vacation and make the best of it. |
||
|
TYCP Sha |
|||
|
Posts: 99658 (11/02/2009 1:46 PM) |
Kisses4NSync wrote: So you're saying that you would just let her come, even though this was special trip for you, your husband & child, especially with the way she has been acting? Come on now. The OP needs to not let people walk all over her. That's not right no matter how you slice it. |
||
|
Pliant Pineapple |
|||
|
Posts: 47495 (11/02/2009 1:49 PM) Funniest JJBer '06
|
Oh man. I have no advice so here's a great big hug
|
||
|
JulieAnne20 |
|||
|
Posts: 37804 (11/02/2009 1:50 PM) Best Debater '09
|
Kisses4NSync wrote: What the fuck. Families aren't required to take in-laws on their family vacation with them. Of course, he should be able to tell his mother she needs to sit this one out. |
||
