Girl all I read was a few sentences but I can tell you this no one should make you feel bad about your past, it's your past not present or future. Like
others said it's a major red flag. You don't have to put up with that, someone who always throwing your past in your face, it's not healthy at all!
And for the future you shouldn't mention your past to whoever you're currently seeing.
What should I do in this situation?
| Started By | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 StrawberryCoke |
|||
|
Posts: 1621 (11/04/2009 1:20 PM) |
|
||
|
Kisses4NSync |
|||
|
Posts: 12365 (11/04/2009 1:22 PM) |
I don't get why people talk about their past anyway. I don't wanna know how many people a person has slept with. It's nobody's business. I mean
unless he asked you...but I wouldn't just go around volunteering information. You're just asking for trouble. You can fix this by not talking about
your past anymore or even hinting about it.
Just concentrate on the present. |
||
|
NancyOttawa |
|||
|
Posts: 8650 (11/04/2009 1:23 PM) |
Olivia725 wrote:Oh God yes!!! The guilt he would pile on to me when I woul try and plan an occasional eveningout with a friend was awful. I ended up having no friends after a year with him. And I'm not talking going to a bar!! I mean to a show or just over to her place or maybe out for a bite to eat. He'd actually give me a list of things I couldn't do and places I couldn't go! I remember throwing it back at him one time in a crumpled ball! We would always end up in such a huge argument about what time I was leaving, what time I would be home, continually asking me where we were going and was I lying.....that I'd just cancel. After awhile I just didn't bother anymore. |
||
|
AudaciousAudrey |
|||
|
Posts: 33187 (11/04/2009 1:24 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
|
Kisses4NSync wrote:Because he is asking about it. These types of guys always find a way to ask about your past and then punish you for it. |
||
|
waitwhat |
|||
|
Posts: 1641 (11/04/2009 1:26 PM) |
But he's still slept with other girls prior to this relationship, and he's angry at you for doing the same as him? He sounds like a whiny douche. 7
months and he's acting like you belong to him-that is how you look at a thing, not a person. Dude needs some therapy.
|
||
|
SelFish |
|||
|
Posts: 9309 (11/04/2009 1:27 PM) |
AudaciousAudrey wrote:  Or they'll use it as ammo for future reference if they're already mad at you.
|
||
|
NancyOttawa |
|||
|
Posts: 8651 (11/04/2009 1:27 PM) |
curiousgeoff wrote:Well I wish you well with all this, but for the record, again, he never showed any signs of violence when I was with him until he beat up that guy, and I don't put up with abuse either and in all my life and my relationships this is the ONLY relationship that turned abusive and it was AFTER the breakup. But you are going to do your own thing and make a try for it but I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you that it doesn't turn ugly some day down the road and I would never forgive myself if I didn't at least warn you so you can be prepared if things go bad. |
||
 OhGetOverIt |
|||
|
Posts: 3517 (11/04/2009 1:28 PM) |
Nancy I'm so sorry that happened to you.
 Sadly, I can relate 100% to it. There was once when I was on a lunch break at a grocery store and I swear
one of the guys working there was this psycho guy I dated. I started to panic and thought I was going to pass out. Turns out it wasn't him, but a guy who
looked IDENTICAL to him. All I kept thinking was 'Why is he working in a grocery store? Why is he working at the one I happen to be at? Does he know where
I work? Does he know what kind of car I'm driving now? Will he recognize me if I keep my head down?'
Yeah. Not a fun way to live 
|
||
|
curiousgeoff |
|||
|
Posts: 4428 (11/04/2009 1:28 PM) |
thanks guys.
I have read it all. and I will consider this all in my actions. I really do appreciate all your guys' imput. |
||
|
OhGetOverIt |
|||
|
Posts: 3518 (11/04/2009 1:28 PM) |
oh and curiousgeoff did you answer everyone who asked how old you guys were? It doesn't really matter, but I know people wanted to know.
|
||
|
StrawberryCoke |
|||
|
Posts: 1622 (11/04/2009 1:29 PM) |
I think you should get out sooner than later considering it's only been 7 months. And don't think that you can change him because you can't, he is
who he is. It's not your job to fix him it's his problem and you don't have any obligation to stick with him while he trys to fix his issues.
|
||
|
KatieSLP |
|||
|
Posts: 682 (11/04/2009 1:29 PM) |
SelFish wrote: Or if they are just in a mood to pick a fight and want to see you upset. Because guys like this enjoy seeing you upset. I have learned that some people ENJOY drama and fighting and watching someone get upset. |
||
|
curiousgeoff |
|||
|
Posts: 4429 (11/04/2009 1:31 PM) |
OhGetOverIt wrote:yep, i did. early twenties. |
||
|
Kisses4NSync |
|||
|
Posts: 12366 (11/04/2009 1:34 PM) |
Oh ok, if he's asking her about it...that's something different. I saw in her OP where she said he asked her. I missed that the first time. My mistake.
And yeah...I agree that you need to get out of this relationship. It's as simple as that. You can't change his attitude about your past anymore than you can change what you've done. You've already put it out there now and he's only gonna get worse (if that's possible) about it. 
|
||
|
NancyOttawa |
|||
|
Posts: 8653 (11/04/2009 1:37 PM) |
OhGetOverIt wrote: OMG I swear you read my mind with all the questions that go through your head and it's like they are all at once and instantaneous! That brief panic moment is horrible also because you are hyperventilating a bit so it's hard to catch your breathe for a moment |
||
|
AudaciousAudrey |
|||
|
Posts: 33192 (11/04/2009 1:42 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
|
My friend and I joke that my ex has part-time jobs at all the places I frequent. Like we'll be at Chipotle and we'll be like "omg is that Jason in
the back cutting up the tomatoes!?" or we'll be at the grocery store and we're like "omg is that Jason working in the deli!?" Once there
was a maintenance guy at work who looked just like him and my friend was like "omg Jason got a job as a repair man so he could keep an eye on you! He
doesn't even know what he's doing he's just like nailing random nails into the wall."
|
||
|
lyyngk |
|||
|
Posts: 17 (11/04/2009 2:03 PM) |
i know a couple of people that went through this one was my sister and she ended up getting her jaw broke because her boyfriend was jealous,i myself just got
into my first relationship and before we offically became a couple we put everything out in the open,im lucky that i found a guy like the one i have because i
told him about somethings that have happened in my past and he doesent care he understands and says what matters right now is what we have.if this guy really
wants to be with you he would be willing to get help.i wish you luck in whatever you decide to do
|
||
