| Started By | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 freebus18 |
|||
|
Posts: 19011 (11/05/2009 11:33 AM) |
I feel your pain, things get really complicated when tactless assholes try to ruin your life. If I were you I would go (because there's not much you could
do about this now) and just monopolize all your daughters time and try to sneak away from her as much as possible. The situation sucks, but at least now you
know that you should never tell her anything again.
Do you live close to eachother? |
||
|
NancyOttawa |
|||
|
Posts: 8668 (11/05/2009 11:35 AM) |
Well I think the husband deserves a HELL NO so I stand by my post  But
in case you misunderstood, I did not mean for that to go to the MIL. As a matter of fact, I don't think she should talk toher about this at all.
|
||
|
evamarie32 |
|||
|
Posts: 227 (11/05/2009 11:38 AM) |
Oh and one more thing. I noticed that she hasn't talked to you or anything directly huh? What a bitch. So if I were you I would do the same. If he is the
messenger for his mom then don't deal with her at all.
Seriously, take a stand and remove yourself from this shit. If you don't play along by reacting to her actions then she'll know she isn't getting to you. How far along are you? Shit like this could cause problems with a person who isn't pregnant with the stress and stress is bad during pregnancy. Where do you live? If you are close by me and a couple of my ghetto ass homegirls could go terrorize her for a day or two if ya want? 
 or 
I'm totally kidding about the terrorizing but it was kind of funny to picture!! |
||
|
pryncessnyla |
|||
|
Posts: 5951 (11/05/2009 11:40 AM) |
Mands you have every right to feel the way you do, I am on your side 100%. If I was in your shoes I would do the same thing, and I would be just as mad. I can
understand how you would want to go by yourself, esp since your MIL is so manipulating over your daughter. Personally If I were you, and my hubby did not agree
with me, I wouldn't be going at all. What's the point of going somewhere enjoyable, if it is not gonna be enjoyable at all? I know the whole time you
will be there with her will be stressful. I wouldn't go at all, and I would not care if people thought I was being a bitch. Too damn bad. I hope it ends up
working out in your favor, esp with the new baby on the way. How far along are you?
|
||
|
freebus18 |
|||
|
Posts: 19012 (11/05/2009 11:41 AM) |
OR agree to book the flight and just don't and say you forgot, or book it for 2 days
|
||
|
NancyOttawa |
|||
|
Posts: 8669 (11/05/2009 11:42 AM) |
dollewail wrote: That would definitely NOT go over well. Some where in all this there has to be a happy medium. I think that first off, your MIL should NOT be staying in your suite with you as she had at first asked. She shouldn't even be on the same damn floor. Even a different hotel would be nice 
But I think you may have to lose a battle to win the war so to speak. So I would just inform your husband that seeing as you've had no say in his mommy tagging along, that you do insist that the 3of you have some alone time and that mommy isn't to be tagging along 24/7. I think you said it's a 5 day trip so tell him that 3 days are just for you 3 and you would be happy to then do something that includes his mommy on the othe 2 days. But I still stand firm on it's not up to YOU to book her flights, let him do that if she's too damn lazy to do it herself or get the daughter that gave her the info book them for her. |
||
|
dollewail |
|||
|
Posts: 9753 (11/05/2009 11:52 AM) |
NancyOttawa wrote: I know! But just taking mommydearest along would not go along well either! I agree about the happy medium part. Absolutely, only problem is that MIL does not want a medium, she wants a ME ME ME ME ME ME ME! Do you seriously think she wouldnt mind only seeing her granddaughter there for only 2 days and miss the look on her face for the rest of the 3 days? I would make a stand. I know its very difficult dealing with familymembers that want something different than you do but you have to draw the line somewhere. This is the last familyvacation with the three of them they can take. This is a time for happy memories. If MIL goes along, every time Mands sees a pic of this trip, she is going to be reminded of her MIL who went along and who screwed up the holiday (because for me the holiday would be screwed up if she would go along, especially with all the manipulating she has done towards the little girl). |
||
|
xtina4eva183 |
|||
|
Posts: 6706 (11/05/2009 11:55 AM) |
my sister has the best MIL...she's pretty quiet and isn't that social lol. So she minds her own business. Other MILs should take note!
|
||
|
NsYnC FaN 364 |
|||
|
Posts: 8526 (11/05/2009 12:14 PM) |
Reading this is making me furious as well. She needs to back the fuck off. Seriously. I am going to have to do some major research on my inlaws before I get
married
Any updates on what she replied to your email? Or what your husband said after you sent him that note? |
||
|
LisaChasez |
|||
|
Posts: 111303 (11/05/2009 12:29 PM) JC Fanatic '03
|
I just don't get people putting up with crap like this. Bitch would have felt my head slap long ago.
|
||
|
kerlifries |
|||
|
Posts: 16473 (11/05/2009 12:41 PM) |
that bitch is lucky she isnt my mother or mother in law. I would have told her to fuck off already
|
||
|
gscaleta |
|||
|
Posts: 727 (11/05/2009 12:44 PM) |
kerlifries wrote: it's not that easy. Especially if the MIL runs the family. |
||
|
Kisses4NSync |
|||
|
Posts: 12372 (11/05/2009 12:45 PM) |
My nephew turned 4 in July and we took him to Disney World. My sister didn't just go off with her husband and baby and say "oh well you and mom
can't come.
What's the problem with making it a family vacation? She just wants to be there for her grandchild. I think both of you need to grow up and act like adults before y'all drive that poor man crazy. |
||
|
kerlifries |
|||
|
Posts: 16474 (11/05/2009 12:46 PM) |
gscaleta wrote:for me, it would be easy. I would have zero problems telling my mother that
|
||
|
MLE 6 |
|||
|
Posts: 4301 (11/05/2009 12:55 PM) |
I really don't think anything that you say, email, or send by carrier pigeon is going to matter one bit to this woman, Mands. Everything that is said to
her needs to come from your husband.
And I know as some people mentioned earlier that it is much easier said than done, but I still believe it is absolutely necessary. Unless your husband is willing to stand up for his family and something is done about the situation your frustration will continue to mount until you can barely stand to be around his mom, he's whining about how you can't suck it up and go along with his mom's wishes, and your daughter doesn't understand why you don't like grandma. The situation just isn't going to get any better on its own and I don't think you continually giving in to the wishes of others is the answer. As I said before, your resentment will turn to bitterness and it will poison your entire family. Will there be times you need to compromise? Sure. But you don't need to be the only one compromising. Since it seems this Disney trip is shot to hell, you should put your foot down with your husband to plan another smaller trip for just the three of you before the baby arrives. And in five years or so, the four of you (you, husband, daughter, and new baby) can go back to Disney, with or without his mom. |
||
|
gscaleta |
|||
|
Posts: 728 (11/05/2009 12:56 PM) |
I understand but it will put a big rift in her family
|
||
|
Angelpopstar7 |
|||
|
Posts: 30083 (11/05/2009 12:58 PM) News Editor |
A 3 year old will so remember Disney World.
I went to Disney World last year with my family and the one little boy was 3 at the time and he still talks
about it to this day.
Back on topic though, it sucks that your MIL is acting like this. I think it's incredibly rude that she invited herself along. She can go to Disney, but that doesn't mean you have to tell her what day you'll be at which park or anything like that. Or don't tell her what time you're arriving at the park so she hopefully won't be able to find you. Yeah, that's rude, but it's not nearly as rude as she's acting. If she wants to see the enchantment in your daughters eyes, why doesn't she plan a special trip to take her down to Disney after the new baby is born to have one on one time with her? |
||
|
ru4serious |
|||
|
Posts: 2206 (11/05/2009 1:06 PM) |
Kisses4NSync wrote:Um because sometimes you make plans that don't include other people and just because they are your family doesn't make it any less rude for them to just invite themselves to tag along. I'm sure if they wanted this woman to go she would have been invited from jump but she wasn't and she wasn't invited for a reason because they didn't want her to go. I'm sure your trip with your nephew was a collective idea not oh I heard you were going on a trip. I'm going to come to. She didn't even ask if it was ok to join she pretty much just told them that she would there. that's rude And oh yeah "poor man" who can't stand up to mommy.
Edited By: ru4serious
11/05/2009 1:15 PM.
Edited 2 times.
|
||
|
MLE 6 |
|||
|
Posts: 4303 (11/05/2009 1:07 PM) |
gscaleta wrote: When it comes right down to it, (coming from her husband's perspective) he is choosing between having a rift between himself and his mom, or between himself and his wife and his wife and their child. I would choose the rift with my mom. I have a sneaky suspicion her husband would choose differently and that is a complete shame. There is also the possibility that once the husband stands up for his family, grandma will realize that giving up her control is worth getting to spend time with her grandchildren and she'll become more bearable. |
||
|
amyfo |
|||
|
Posts: 19376 (11/05/2009 1:09 PM) Joey Fanatic '08 |
Kisses4NSync wrote:I don't think you are understanding how much this MIL is involved in the OPs life. It would be different if she was only around every couple weeks or so, but it sounds like the MIL is always in the OPs business. It also sounds like every time they go on vacation the MIL is there anyway. What is so wrong with wanting to have a vacation without extra family? My sister and BIL go on vacations all the time without inviting people in my family or his family. And we wouldn't dare ask to come along because it isn't a family vacation. |
||
