And I agree, if you don't put your foot down now, it is only going to keep getting worse and worse.
I AM SO F'ING ANNOYED*Ur Never gonna believe..
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 NsYnC FaN 364 |
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Posts: 8550 (11/05/2009 3:04 PM) |
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 SharrywasBanned |
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Posts: 2055 (11/05/2009 3:04 PM) JJB Devil '09
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NancyOttawa wrote: |
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NancyOttawa |
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Posts: 8684 (11/05/2009 3:05 PM) |
The point is to fight fire with fire - make the MIL feel guilty! Two can play that game! 
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gscaleta |
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Posts: 740 (11/05/2009 3:05 PM) |
Right but you have to approach this carefully. If you go hard core it will backfire and MIL will make herself to be the victim.
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SharrywasBanned |
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Posts: 2056 (11/05/2009 3:05 PM) JJB Devil '09
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gscaleta wrote: Only if the husband alloows her to play victim. He needs to stand by his wife. |
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Random Sandwiches |
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Posts: 4024 (11/05/2009 3:06 PM) |
She's a piece of work. I hate people who kill you with kindness and bat their big eyes at you like they have no CLUE what they did wrong. Make a stand now
or she will never stop doing this to you. If it makes you the "bad guy" in some peoples' eyes, that's too bad. Your life will continue to be
miserable where she's concerned if you don't stand your ground on this. With your hubby, too. He's just as much at fault for not backing you full
force. Yes, she's his mother, but he is a GROWN man and this is his family she's encroaching on.
I hope it all gets better. 
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SwanGeese |
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Posts: 6519 (11/05/2009 3:07 PM) |
What a terrible situation. I wish you all the best.
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gscaleta |
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Posts: 741 (11/05/2009 3:09 PM) |
Doesn't matter what the husband does after the fact because the MIL will corrupt the rest of the family. She probably already controls most of them and
they will all fall in line because no one stood up to her yet.
Husband needs to confront mom now and set ground rules. And yes he needs to support his wife as well. |
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Copy323 |
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Posts: 13340 (02/09/1999 3:57 PM) |
Holy shit. I would be pissed! I'm so mad for you right now. She's seriously out to lunch. Apparently she won't back down and will just go on the
trip anyway? Wow. I hate that she made herself out to to be the victim, but I guess I'm not surprised. Sounds like she needs to be put in her place and
screw being delicate about her feelings.
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JustBrit2007 |
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Posts: 27401 (11/05/2009 3:13 PM) |
SharrywasBanned wrote: Mands send her this. |
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siren217 |
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Posts: 194 (11/05/2009 3:16 PM) |
Granny sounds very selfish and knows exactly what game she is playing.Yep. Sounds like she's very manipulative. I'd probably just write her and tell her flat out that she was not invited and she can't come. |
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AeroSync9 |
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Posts: 12912 (11/05/2009 3:17 PM) |
gscaleta wrote:Yes he needs to confront mom and let her have it. Tell her this is what I noticed and I will not stand for it anymore. If you want to see your grandkids I would shape up. He needs to grow a pair and she needs to cut the cord. I have a coworker who is the same way with her granddaughter. She came into work awhile ago complaining that she didn't think it was fair that when she called her daughter to say she's taking the grandkid for a few days the daughter said "Um Mom no you can't she's going to go spend the week with her other grandparents" I mean my coworker was PISSED complaining to me that her daughter had no right to do that and that she doesn't want her granddaughter to spend time with anyone but her. |
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MandsLB8 |
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Posts: 5989 (11/05/2009 3:19 PM) |
I already sent her a dumb email because she really hurt my feelings. When she said that Her and Jen love her kids and their grandkids it was most certainly an
attack on me because my mother is horrible to me and hasn't seen adriana since june. I wish I could have been more strong willed but I just caved in and
wrote her the stupidest thing. She got what she wanted.
You're taking this the wrong way. I didn't say that I didn't want you to go. I said that in the beginning this trip was planned for Adam, Adriana and I to have alone time because we never get such thing. I'm very sorry if you don't see the importance in that, but I do. I was writing you this email to let you know that even though you are coming, I hope that you can respect that Adam and I still WANT to have alone time with our daughter. I don't think that is too much to ask. It doesn't mean that I am blocking you out, or denying you a right to love anybody. If I argue the contrary, you see and spend more time with Adriana than Adam and MOST grandparents.. so please.. don't make that the issue. There is never a time where I block you out or shield you. I am sorry that I am not an open, loving person.. it's just the way I am. I've always been like that and have not changed since the day you met me. I don't think it's hard for anybody to understand the reasons why I am the way I am, considering what kind of things I have had to put up with throughout my life. That's how my grandma, my grandpa, my uncle, and my aunt all are. It's just how I was raised, and it's just who I am. As for the comment, I'm not blaming you, but if you heard the way she said it- you yourself would think the same thing. Adam and I both caught onto it the minute she said it.. and if you truely didn't say anything like that, I apologize- but I really still can't understand where she would come up with that on her own. |
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jeepchic20 |
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Posts: 16419 (11/05/2009 3:21 PM) |
I'm not a man, but if I saw how much stress this is putting on my PREGNANT wife, I would stand up to mom and just tell her no. I'm sure mom has pulled
this guilty/manipulative trip on him too all his life and probably made him want to pull his hair out by the roots, but why would he want his pregnant wife to
go through the same thing?
NancyOttawa, that is the perfect response e-mail. For a normal person that e-mail should diffuse the situation but sadly I don't think it would at all, but I believe that or something very similar to it should be sent. |
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MandsLB8 |
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Posts: 5990 (11/05/2009 3:21 PM) |
I'm also really close with Kelly's mom (the aunt who is going with us) and I called her. She said that MIL called her and asked if I said anything
negative about her going on the trip and Aunt Jen just said "well, not negative but I think she just wants to spend alone time with her family".
Anyway, she's calling her and talking to her and she's going to call me back. |
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SharrywasBanned |
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Posts: 2059 (11/05/2009 3:22 PM) JJB Devil '09
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Amanda, why are you conceding any point of hers? She is a master manipulator. She wanted you to put yourself down or concede to her judgement of you.
You fell right into her devious plan. 
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Just A Little Stitious |
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Posts: 14548 (11/05/2009 3:23 PM) |
How old is this woman?(Clearly too old to be acting like this, since she's a grandmother). She's calling other people to find out what you're
saying about her?
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MandsLB8 |
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Posts: 5991 (11/05/2009 3:24 PM) |
I know that I did.
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MandsLB8 |
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Posts: 5992 (11/05/2009 3:24 PM) |
58
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ru4serious |
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Posts: 2220 (11/05/2009 3:25 PM) |
That was ok but please do not keep apologizing to this woman, you don't owe her anything. You have done nothing wrong, she is the one acting a fool. And
by continuing to play into her games all you do is give her control and power to continue to do this to you as well as your daughter.
Edited By: ru4serious
11/05/2009 3:27 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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