Purplelilac82 wrote:
DoesThatSparkle wrote:
So why are the "pickins slim" when it comes to black men?
A multitude of reasons. A good majority of them are incarcerated. That's one of the big issues.
I don't like when people say "the pickings are low." Or, "there are few black men.." They aren't all in prison...and even if a lot of them were...it's not as if you'd have chosen the type of guy that would land himself in prison anyway. lol. Logically, the ones that are members of society are the ones you'd rather have.
But no. Black men aren't an endangered species. All you have to say is....there are few black men you come across that you as a black woman have anything in common with. I don't think that translates into self-loathing at all. If you don't look in the mirror and go "ugh. I'm ugly cause my skin is dark." Or "he's not hot cause he's black" I think you're good. But it's kind of like the reverse, when a black woman sees a black man dating a white woman, and she says something like, "They take all our good men." Wtf does that mean? Does that mean if the white woman hadn't cast her ~*spell*~ on the guy he would have chosen you instead? No. haha. If you run into a black guy that only dates a certain race...a lot times it's because they've been fed up from their experiences with their own. It could be other things too, but most of the time that's it.
But anyway. If you have "alternative" interests or even beliefs....and you're black, I guess it is harder to find someone you mesh well with within your own race. Black people...as a minority constantly have reminders of what it "means to be black." So you get boxed in and it seems like most can put themselves in the box, but if you can't it sucks. You can't be a republican. You can't like shows like Gossip Girl. Gotta watch Girlfriends or whatever other black show is still on. You must be a Christian. Go to church on Sundays. You have to like hip hop, or gospel, or soul, or r&b...or all of them. Do your hair a certain way. Even down to the length. If you have long hair..it must be a weave. You might meet some people that feel you have to talk a certain way or they think you're trying to be something other than what you are. Black people do this to each other which is the hardest part.
But..pretty much, other ethnicities aren't bound to such restrictions by society. Actually...hispanic people might be. I'm wrong. But if you're white..and you say you're not a Christian. Okay. You might run into problems but it won't be a case of "you're white! How can you not be a Christian?" If you like metal. Okay. If you like rap...okay cool. If you like Girlfriends instead of Gossip Girl. That's fine too. If you're a democrat that's good. Republican...it's okay too. If you want to pierce your nose 5 different ways and stretch you ears with gauges. Okay. Basically there are no messages that say, "In order to be a white person, you must…" Of course there are stereotypes, but it's not the same thing.
I'm sure there are black guys out there that feel the same just from a reversed perspective. That can distort people's minds..and then they might just stop looking in that direction all together. So even if they do run into a black woman who is just like them. They won't look. That's what explains the whole "professional black dudes only date white women."
Anyway. I think people should stop thinking of love in terms of color. If everyone did that…people would open themselves up to a lotttt more chances at love. But, of course..that's not the world we live in.
However, since
I'm relocating to Brooklyn, NY in a month, I'm sure my fortunes will change on that front. At least I hope they will. 
