JulieAnne20 wrote:I agree. I grew in the "hood", but it's a small section of a very white city, I went to an all-white high school, and at my college, there were only 3-5% of students who identified themselves as black or African-American. I could seriously walk around my campus for an hour and not see one black person. And yet, I can think of at least 15 black men I know personally, off the top of my head, that are educated well-off professionals who only date black women. My bf is one of them. There are good black men everywhere and it makes me irrationally angry when black women feed into the idea that there are not. I am not going to change my mind on that.
It sounds like some of you just hang out with the wrong crowd of guys. Not that there is a "shortage" of them.
Any black women on?--I got a serious question.
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 BlackStilettos |
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Posts: 28223 (11/20/2009 9:58 AM) JJB Fashionista '09
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 Darling Nikki33 |
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Posts: 4104 (11/20/2009 10:09 AM) |
I kind of don't buy that "trade up" thing. In my experience, if they want a white woman, they have always been chasing them. It comes as no
surprise when they marry one, IMO, speaking from the men I have know.
On the other hand, my BIL dated nothing but white women (or Asian) in college and now that he is out of graduate school, he wants to marry a black woman or Latina. He is having trouble finding one but that is his goal...or what he is attracted to. I personally think he wants to try and make pretty babies like his brother but NO CHANCE!
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BlackStilettos |
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Posts: 28225 (11/20/2009 10:10 AM) JJB Fashionista '09
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I kind of don't buy that "trade up" thing. In my experience, if they want a white woman, they have always been chasing them. It comes as no surprise when they marry one, IMO, speaking from the men I have know. Pretty much. |
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dolce55 |
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Posts: 6616 (11/20/2009 10:17 AM) |
I'd like to too, but I feel like it wont happen if I continue living in Minnesota. Black men around here dont seem to want black women. I'm not sure if
location matters though because I've run into that issue in other states as well.
I have no problem marrying outside of my race though. I'm a military brat, so I've been around all kinds of people and I tend to not see race as too big of an issue. |
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cinnabon83 |
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Posts: 15855 (11/20/2009 10:56 AM) |
Donald Draper wrote: This is the most accurate statement in this thread. I've heard this in some form or another from most of my (black) male friends.
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forever121young |
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Posts: 12274 (11/20/2009 11:07 AM) |
I was JJBing on my phone but totally into this thread that I had to come in and post.
I have never dated a black man. Even though I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood in Bklyn, I went to a private school with mainly white kids. Same thing in college. (Although, my close group of friends have always been very diverse. I.E. We used to call ourselves a Bennetton Ad. ) I generally do NOT identify
with the black culture as it's sterotypically protrayed. As this poster wrote:
But anyway. If you have "alternative" interests or even beliefs....and you're black, I guess it is harder to find someone you mesh well with within your own race. Black people...as a minority constantly have reminders of what it "means to be black." So you get boxed in and it seems like most can put themselves in the box, but if you can't it sucks. You can't be a republican. You can't like shows like Gossip Girl. Gotta watch Girlfriends or whatever other black show is still on. You must be a Christian. Go to church on Sundays. You have to like hip hop, or gospel, or soul, or r&b...or all of them. Do your hair a certain way. Even down to the length. If you have long hair..it must be a weave. You might meet some people that feel you have to talk a certain way or they think you're trying to be something other than what you are. Black people do this to each other which is the hardest part.All of the above applies to me to a 'T'. (Especially about the hair - but that's another thread). At this time in my life (I'm 28), I'm at the crossroads. I don't see myself with a black guy because I usually don't meet any that share my interests. My friends husband (who's black), has tried to set me up with his cousin before - who's cute - but a total, crazy right-wing Christian nut, so it was a no-go. On the other hand, a lot of the white guys I have dated (very casually, mind you) typically don't see themselves marrying/having a LTR with a black woman. So, I'm convinced will be alone for the rest of my life. I'm trying to get used to the idea. 
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jeepchic20 |
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Posts: 16501 (11/20/2009 11:12 AM) |
I honestly didn't think I'd ever marry a black man. Just about every man that I dated was white. However the older I got the more I wanted to marry a
black man, more because I feel like I wouldn't have to work so hard proving our relationship (partly proving to me, but also to other people). That thought
came once I dated my last two boyfriends who, even though we were in serious relationships, they (or their family) had serious problems about ME.
The man I'm with now, who I hope to marry is black (well black and white, but obviously barely anyone notices the white party). He also said the same thing. Although he always dated white women (and no trade up there, they were/are straight hoochie/baby mama/ghetto trash women) he would most likely marry a black woman. So here we are. |
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Purplelilac82 |
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Posts: 18638 (11/20/2009 11:51 AM) |
DunderMifflinInc wrote: I want pretty black babies too! A beautiful dark chocolate little boy to be precise! Anyways, I agree with the poster who said if you
don't fit into a certain catagory with black people, it makes dating soooooo much harder in the black community and black people do do it to themselves! I
got my ass handed to me on a daily basis in middle school because I chose to listen to Beck of Tupac (I really do like Tupac btw!). Also, I grew up in a 2
parent house and both my parents are professionals. I got shit allll the time about not being black enough. WTF does that even mean?? And Stilettos, I think
it's great you know 15 guys off the top of your head who only date black women. Good on you. I still don't think that's the norm. This is something
I guess we can agree to disagree on.
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dedaman03 |
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Posts: 6549 (11/20/2009 11:52 AM) |
joey4pacey637 wrote:Thank God I have one of them! 
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JulieAnne20 |
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Posts: 38015 (11/20/2009 11:54 AM) Best Debater '09
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BlackStilettos wrote: Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.  I think there are a lot of great black men out there.
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celebtrashwhore |
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Posts: 7814 (11/20/2009 12:02 PM) |
JulieAnne20 wrote: Where do you live? Not like anyone would take relationship advice from you or anything. |
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AudaciousAudrey |
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Posts: 34068 (11/20/2009 12:04 PM) Biggest Know It All '09
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celebtrashwhore wrote:uhh |
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JulieAnne20 |
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Posts: 38021 (11/20/2009 12:05 PM) Best Debater '09
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celebtrashwhore wrote: I'm not giving relationship advice. I just made a comment.
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NickelodeonSucksLoL |
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Posts: 5952 (11/20/2009 2:27 PM) |
BlackStilettos wrote:See, that's another thing right there that my friends and I've been saying for awhile now. This isn't some Tyler Perry movie, so I don't want or need a black man who ONLY dates black women. His choice pool doesn't have to be that small. Not that this all comes down to competition, but honestly it wouldn't make me feel "triumphant" about "bagging him" if I was only competing against 5 other women in the first place. I could care less who/what he usually dates since I've dated outside my race before as well. I'd just personally like to be his first
choice regardless of race or usual preference. And that goes for men of all races. But that's the conceit in me talking. At 27, I'd still prefer
to be the best out of all than to be the better out of a few.
Edited By: NickelodeonSucksLoL
11/20/2009 4:23 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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the Cass |
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Posts: 299 (11/20/2009 3:35 PM) |
No and that's because most of the black men where I live (the inner city) are beneath me. These black guys have no goals whatsoever..they are just plain
rude, uneducated, liars, cheaters, std infected, dirty bamas. ugh I could go on. And it's pretty said actually. I've tried, but I'm not that
desperate. Brothers need to grow up.
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groovydee4 |
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Posts: 1693 (11/20/2009 3:44 PM) |
The only black men who approach me are generally old enough to be my father, so it's not looking likely.
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Lets Hug It Out |
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Posts: 38555 (11/20/2009 4:25 PM)
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NickelodeonSucksLoL wrote:I really like what you said here. |
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JC wears Manties |
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Posts: 39508 (11/20/2009 4:25 PM) Best Screenname '03 |
SuperheroPip18 wrote: 
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NickelodeonSucksLoL |
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Posts: 5959 (11/20/2009 4:44 PM) |
Lets Hug It Out wrote: Thanks. 
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