I experienced this from the other side. My best friend and my ex started dating not even 2 weeks after my ex and I broke up. I was quite pissed at both of them
for a while but I got over it. Although my ex and I hadn't dated for 8 years, I can definitely see why your friend is upset. In my opinion, that's just
something that you don't do. And if you're having feelings for a friends ex, you need to talk to your friend before anything happens between you and
the ex.
have you ever fallen for your friend's s/o?
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 Angelpopstar7 |
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Posts: 30212 (11/30/2009 2:27 PM) News Editor |
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 OzGrl134 |
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Posts: 835 (11/30/2009 2:29 PM) |
Yeah, ya don't do that. That's screwed up.
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Hillbillyrckstr |
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Posts: 10010 (11/30/2009 2:38 PM) |
I have to agree that you should never date your best friend's ex. End of Story. There are boundaries that shouldn't be crossed and that's one of
them.
I think maybe if you had any kind of feelings you should have went to her first. She is after all the 'friend'. Live and learn I guess. |
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elites renee |
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Posts: 23281 (11/30/2009 2:44 PM) |
No, I'm not a whore.
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sarah102383 |
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Posts: 32215 (11/30/2009 3:24 PM) Best Celeb Scoop '06, '08, & '09
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I dated a guy for 5 years that my best friend had dated briefly in high school. He and I both knew how awful it was and talked to her about it separately
before we ever even went on a date and she was completely fine with it, but I still felt bad even though she's told me multiple times that she had
absolutely no problem with it. It's just not something you're supposed to do.
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orangepeel19 |
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Posts: 16172 (11/30/2009 3:38 PM) Friendliest JJBer '09
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I say go for it. If those are true feelings and the two of them are completely over, then what can you do? Just ignore what's there? No. It's not like
you went behind her back and caused a cheating situation.
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FireBirdGoddess |
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Posts: 20870 (11/30/2009 3:41 PM) |
I think this is just weird. Out of all the guys out there in the world, this is the one you fall for? My guy friends in relationships are definitely appealing
in some ways, but I would still never go there. It's not even a possibility. I'm not trying to plant the seed, but this sounds like it's more
trouble than its worth. You guys are in love and you're still keeping it hush hush. I really doubt your friend means what she says about you being the only
other person she could see your bf with or w/e you wrote up there. I mean do what you do, maybe it will all make sense in ten years and all of you can have a
good laugh at it. This is so strange to me...sounds like the beginning of a Katherine Heigl movie
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KellySD |
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Posts: 2342 (11/30/2009 7:35 PM) |
Oh hell no. What kind of friend is that to be?
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i eat hot peppers give me water |
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Posts: 3478 (11/30/2009 7:45 PM) |
I'm horrible in this situation. I didn't exactly fall for my friend's s/o in these situations but my good friend's ex boyfriend decided he had
a crush on me and they broke up- I felt awful but I did not do anything to make that happen though.
Another one of my good friends though- she dated a guy and then they stopped dating and then he started talking to me...and we were together for a bit-- I don't know- I just really liked him and I don't know why I went for him--- she stopped talking to me for a while but we're okay now. I would honestly say if you like him, and its working out, then its not your fault that it happened...things happen...it may be sad for your friend, but it happens. |
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RATxAxTAT.niketalk |
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Posts: 570 (11/30/2009 7:48 PM) |
So, you guys not talking anymore is her choice or yours?
You said the last time you guys talked was when she apologized for being upset and said it was ok if you too wanted to date. So have you tried to make contact with her since then? |
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TYCP Sha |
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Posts: 99817 (11/30/2009 7:56 PM) |
Courtney Love1 wrote: Pretty much what I was going to say. Some people are saying silly things in this post. |
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IWantACookie8 |
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Posts: 1135 (11/30/2009 8:21 PM) |
I fell for a good friends ex. I weighed the situation pretty heavily for months before I approached her how I felt for him. They "talked" for some
time a year prior and really only dated officially for 2 weeks so I felt like the whole situation had long passed and was ok enough to even bring up to her.
She was cool with it however I would not have pursued if she disapproved.
I have been on the other side where a "friend" went after a guy I was with/in the process of splitting off. She did not consider me much of a friend...she ended up skanking it up with him...He was clearly a douche and they deserved each other. So it just depends on how you deal with guilt? Some people clearly do not care, some do. |
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Kisses4NSync |
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Posts: 12500 (11/30/2009 8:53 PM) |
But if they broke up, he's not really her S/O anymore. He's a free man. He can go out with whoever he wants. I don't know how women can let their
friendships go over a man. True friends stick it out through thick and thin, no matter what.
I did fall just a little bit for one of my friend's s/o's...or I guess you could say he fell for me...but I was a little attracted to him (they were actually together and not broken up). Nothing happened, though. We just talked on the phone. I realized what I was doing was wrong...but before I could tell her, she found out and vowed never to speak to me again. I'm still hoping that she'll forgive me.  I don't know if they're still together or
not.  When I told my guy he was like "it's not your fault. She should have kept her man in check."
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chickadee0193 |
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Posts: 4434 (11/30/2009 9:54 PM) |
No, but you should read the book "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffin. This totally reminds me of it.
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Mistress Darcy |
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Posts: 12752 (11/30/2009 10:04 PM) |
No. I have never had feelings for a guy that my best friend has been fucking for 8 years. Just kinda gross to me, sorry. We don't play sloppy seconds in my
friend group.
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Spaztastik |
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Posts: 84157 (11/30/2009 10:16 PM) |
I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but if she won't talk to you...and you haven't talked in six months and you really are in love with this guy,
just go for it.
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Dsupastar |
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Posts: 1354 (11/30/2009 10:18 PM) |
i've been on the other end where my ex best friend hooked up with my first love. i told her not to do it (she initiated contact after i introduced them)
but she continued anyway and they dated for almost a year. needless to say, we didn't speak after that and when he broke her heart, she begged for my
forgiveness. that was 6 years ago and her and i talk once in a blue moon but we will never go back to being close friends and to this day, she tells me how
much she regrets what she did. i forgave her but i didn't forget.
so in my opinion, it's not worth losing a best friend over a guy. |
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ohphelia |
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Posts: 2935 (11/30/2009 10:20 PM) |
Go for the guy. You're not talking to the girl anymore, anyways.
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Dana B |
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Posts: 2563 (11/30/2009 10:27 PM) |
I couldn't imagine doing that to any of my friends. I had a crush on one of my best friend's boyfriends before they started dating, and after a little
while of them going out it completely went away and all I see him as now is my best friend's boyfriend. We hang out and goof off and I never have the urge
for anything more. I don't know if it's that way for other people but I couldn't ever, nor would I want to get with a friend's s/o.
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becky711 |
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Posts: 4448 (11/30/2009 10:34 PM) |
I mean, since you haven't talked to your friend in months, I say go for the guy at this point.
But was she really one of your closest friends? I just can't imagine one of my closest friends trying to date my boyfriend if we broke up... or vice versa. Like so many other people said, they were together for EIGHT years, obviously it's wasn't an easy break up, no matter who ended he relationship. |
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