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Oh my gosh, thank you all so much for comments and for actually taking time out to read my story. Really, I truly appreciate it and I'm so glad that everyone likes it so far. Now this next chapter ends a little ominously, but no worries it will be fixed soon! Enjoy.


You know the funny thing is that I only recently started getting into Justin and his music, some of which I blame on my sister. Although we're from the "hood," I was one of the few black girls that were into the pop scene. Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC posters adorned my room while Britney or Christina bumped in the boom box. Even though I was a Backstreet girl, I was a "closet" *NSYNC fan, begging my mom or my grandmother to buy me their CDs. I didn't even pay attention to Justin when he was in the group; I was (and still am) a Lance girl. Yeah, so he's gay, but it is something about those green eyes and that voice that make my girly parts tingle.

To this day I'm still pissed that I never got to see them in concert, mainly because Ava never wanted to go with me and mom felt that I needed someone to be at the concert with me-a.k.a. babysit me. I even bought Justified and Schizophrenic when they came out, but Justin's first album just didn't keep my interest after listening to it the first few times, then again nothing could when I was 13 years old. In fact, I had missed out on all things Justin-his movies, philanthropic efforts, love life, etc-for the last six years or more, but I was growing up and growing out of my teeny bopper phase and on top of that, I was dealing with the everyday pressures of my own life.
But then the summer before senior year arrived and I was ready to get it over with before it had even started so that I could the fuck up out of L.A. By that time I had become a full-fledged computer nerd, playing on my laptop (supplied by my ritzy school) all day and all night. On one of the few days that I allowed my best friend Rassad to pull me away from the computer screen, we were driving around looking for some grub and listen to the radio when the "hot new jam" by Justin Timberlake came blasting through the car speakers.

I'm bringin' sexy back…
Them other boys don't know how to act…

I must admit that Justin had this little girl from Inglewood bobbing her head and hanging on to every word he said when sang that song. For the entire month of July, "SexyBack" was my anthem…that is until "My Love" came out. Finding that song on some random music blog before it had even been released was probably the best thing that ever happened because after I heard it, it was over. Apparently everyone else in America felt the same way because I couldn't go anywhere without hearing it at least three or more times a day on the radio. By that time Ava had been up and down the California coast taking and teaching dance classes and auditioning for various musical acts, but my sister just couldn't seem to nail a steady gig.

" 'La, maybe I should have just went to grad school like mama said," she would say to me in those rare times she would get discouraged. But the one thing I admire about Ava is that she allows only one day for insecurity before she's back out there, dancing a little harder and a little hungrier. So imagine my reaction (and bleeding eardrums) when my sister called to tell me:

"I'M GOING ON TOUR WITH JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!!!"

My mom thought someone had died when she burst into my room because I was screaming so loud. I had never been so proud of my big sister. That's why being able to see her tonight, for the first time since she's been on tour, and since I've been out of school is all the more special to me.
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FedEx Forum

"Selah, are you drooling?" My sister asks me.

See this is a damn shame. The man is so fine that I'm salivating over him like a slab of meat.

"No!" I reply defensively while trying to wipe the drool off my lip discreetly.

"You haven't changed since the days his face decorated your bedroom. Now if you thought Nick was off limits, think of my boss as the Mona Lisa; if you try to touch him, alarms will start going off so don't even try it," Ava warns me.

Ugh, I get it! I mean I'm 19 and hormonal, not stupid. Plus I'm not blind to the fact that he's currently taken or that I'm the baby sister of one of his dancers, so he wouldn't even do a double take at me. No one ever does.

"Hey everyone, I hope you all slept well and had a great mini-vacation before we get started on this second leg. I'm really excited about tonight and just being home," Justin pauses as a smile takes over his face. I think I'm melting.

"But as much as I like to have fun, it's time to get to work so let's get to goin'!" My sister and the rest of the dancers make their way to the stage.

"A, where should I go?"

"Go ahead and just sit in the club pit there. You'll be able to see everything from that spot," she says while giving me a bright smile. I reciprocate by giving her a smile back.

"Get it girl…"

She laughs before running back toward the stage. I take a seat on a barstool in the middle of the club pit. The stage is kind of circular so that everyone can see the dancers, the backup singers, and of course Justin. Ava told me that they have platforms that move the band members around as well as these openings in the stage where the dancers can disappear to their underground area. I'm just in awe of it all and for the infinite time in a row, proud that my sister was able to get to this point.

I look to my left and catch Michele's eye. She gives me a wink and I give her a smile and thumbs up before I hear that infamous guitar riff. Suddenly I see Michele crawling along the platform on the other side of the club pit like a cat. I hear the guitar riff again and I look to my right to see Nancy moving in slow motion. I hear the riff one more time before I finally turn my head toward the center of the stage and see him standing there with his blue guitar in his hands. It's been over six years since he released this song as his first single and here he is today, singing it like it's the very first time.


I kind of noticed, something wasn't right
In your colorful face…
It's kind of weird to me
Since you're so fine
If it's up to me your face will change…


I immediately start singing the next part, getting my groove on in the club pit by myself. I got reacquainted with Justified since my sister needed to practice the routines that Marty taught the dancers. It was then that I realized how great the album actually is. I take my eyes off of Justin to see my sister dancing her heart out, Michele being her sassy self, and Nick winking at me. I feel my face burn in response as my eyes make their way back to Justin who is strutting around the stage like he owns the place-well in a sense, he does. I usually hate guys that are cocky, but it's something about Justin's "cockiness" that I find so sexy.

But I bet it's because he's confident in what he does and believes in himself completely, something I have yet to discover within myself. I guess if I had an inkling of the confidence that Justin or even my sister exuded, I wouldn't be in the position that I was in now-out of school, in the dog house with mom, unsure of what my future holds or what I want it to look like. I may be smiling on the outside, but no one, not even Ava really knows how scared and insecure I am. But my fears soon melt away when I look directly in front of me only to see Justin standing there, crooning the words of the bridge to me:


I just wanna love you baby
Yeah yeah yeah…


He better stop before I pass out because my heart is about to pop out of my chest it's beating so fast. My cheeks are hurting because I'm smiling so hard and oh my sweet lord, did he just wink at me? Ok, I can officially die a happy woman now.

I fight the urge to scream like a teeny as he makes his way back to the center and falls right into the choreography with my sister to his left, and some curly-haired girl on his right. I figure she's one of the dancers I haven't met yet. The song ends and I don't know whether to clap or scream. If it looked that good during rehearsal, then they were going to kill it once tonight comes. They go right into "My Love" after taking a quick breather and I almost pee my pants.

I. Love. This. Song.

I especially love how he decided to slow down the first verse, it sounds sexier that way. His voice sounds like silk as he sings the words:


If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular…


Is it bad that I want to shout out "HELL yes"? I figured that wouldn't be very professional though. I hadn't realized my eyes were closed as I listened to his voice until I felt a presence next to me.

"His voice is beautiful huh? Sometimes I close my eyes when he sings too."

I look to my left and feel my stomach turn into a bunch of knots. I give her a tight-lipped smile, but I don't respond to what she says. She's a lot prettier in real life than in the pictures and her skin looks absolutely flawless. She's not dressed in anything fancy, but I can tell that she's the type of person that could make "sloppy" look glamorous as she stands next to me in jeans and a hoodie with a tank top underneath. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and her face, which shows minimal to no sign of makeup, is fresh looking. And just like that, my insecurity is back and we haven't even exchanged names. But I know who she is. She's the girlfriend.

Lyrics Credit: "Like I Love You" by Justin Timberlake, "My Love" by Justin Timberlake

Here's another update! Again everyone, thanks for reading!


The rest of rehearsal flew by with me enjoying and dancing to my favorite Justin hits (and ignoring his overly friendly girlfriend). I mean I was trying to watch my sister and my new friends prepare for tonight, not talk about who I was and why I was there. I guess Jessica irritates me not only because she gets to have that fine piece of man all to herself, but also because she's so damn nice…and beautiful. She thought it was so cool that I was touring with my sister too.

"I would have never dreamed about doing something like that at 19. But I guess when you're filming a TV show four to five days a week, you don't get too much time to do that." She said to me with a shy smile.

Part of me wanted to be like "Trick please," because she still has and most likely will always have more money than Ava and I ever will.

But another part of me felt for her, I mean who hasn't heard about the not-so-glamorous life of child stars? Who knows what she went through while playing America's beloved Mary Camden. Despite that, I wasn't too keen on sharing my personal life with someone I had just met and eventually made up some bullshit about having to go to the bathroom. It wasn't a total lie because I did have to go, but me being the smart girl that I am, I got myself lost in the damn arena. With my bladder threatening to burst, I was about to give up hope and head back inside to where everyone else was.

"Selah? Selah, is that you?"

I stopped in my tracks. His voice sounded so different, so loud and powerful when he was on stage that I'm tripping out at how soft it was when he said my name. Wait a minute, how did he know my name?

"Yeah, it-it's me…" I stuttered, turning around to face him. My heart started racing for the infinite time as Justin jogged toward me in order to catch up. Finally closing the space between us, he stood before me giving me a shy lopsided smile.

"You scared your sister a little bit because she has me and all the other dancers looking for you. Where'd you go?"

"Oh! I was um…trying to find the bathroom. Still haven't had much luck," I chuckled nervously, silently praying that I wouldn't pass out. Thankfully he laughed along with me.

"So that's why we have a search party going on? Here come with me, I know where one is."

I started following him when he stopped. "By the way," he said while rubbing the back of his neck before offering me his hand-and another one of those heart-racing smiles. "I'm Justin."

"Nice to meet you Justin," I replied with a smile back before taking his hand. "I'm Selah."
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FedEx Forum, 6:45 p.m.

I smile thinking about earlier. Yeah, so we shook hands, re-introduced ourselves to each other and he…took me to the bathroom. It might not have been the most glamorous of meetings, but I can't help but smile when I think about his captivating blues or his body melting smile. I'm going to have to send him my hospital bill because I know what he's doing to me is not good for my health. And if that was when he wasn't in performer mode, I can only imagine what's going to happen in about an hour.

I'm sitting in the girls' dressing room. It's been entertaining to say the least watching the girls warm up and get their costumes on. Since it's getting closer to show time, we've just been chilling and listening to music.

"Ok, what has got you smiling like the Cheshire cat Miss Selah?" Nancy asks me.

"Better yet who has got you smiling like that?" Tammy chimes in. I finally met her and Dana, the dancer with the curly hair, after rehearsal finished. I discovered that they're just as cool as the rest of the dancers.

"Nothing and no one has me smiling like anything," I emphasize while lying through my teeth. "I'm just excited for the show."

"Uh huh," Nancy cocks me an eyebrow. "So that smile has nothing to do with the fact that I saw you talking to our boss earlier?" Dammit, no one was supposed to know about that!

"Hold up, what were doing talking to Justin 'La?" My sister inquires with some attitude.

"It's not that big of a deal. Look, he found me wandering around the arena looking for a bathroom. He introduced himself and found me one, end of story," I respond, embarrassed that these girls can read me so clearly.

"So you've just been reliving that moment in your head all day long, huh?" Michele says, shooting me a wink.

"Oh my god ya'll, it's nothing! I mean he has a girlfriend and I'm…I'm too young for him. He wouldn't want me."

"Well, you may be right about the age thing," Tammy says while the other girls gather around me. "But how do you know he wouldn't want you? It's not like you need to walk around with a bag over your head." The rest of the girls and I laugh.

"She's right little one, don't be acting like you don't have Nick all on your jock," Ava says. "I saw him winking at you during rehearsal, but he's still off limits."

I scoff in response while the other girls playfully defend me against my sister. The thought of Nick makes me smile, I mean he seems like a sweetheart and isn't bad on the eyes. Maybe I'll try to talk to him more, get to know him better. Hey, what my sister doesn't know won't hurt her.

We continue talking, gossiping, and giggling when we hear a loud "Shut up!" erupt from outside the dressing room. Knowing the owner of that voice, we all laugh in response, Tammy and Nancy yelling out a "Sorry Justin!" as well.

"I wonder how long he's been out there?" Dana whispers loud enough so that we all can hear. "I hope he doesn't know that he's got you all lovestoned and whatnot," she teases. The other girls, including my sister laugh.

I scoff once again, hoping he can't hear what the girls are saying about me. "I DO NOT like him," I say in a loud whisper. "I mean I'm not blind to the fact that he's…he's so-"

"Fine, sexy, delicious, gorgeous, handsome, scrumptious, need I go on 'La?" Michele interrupts. I try to hide my embarrassed smile, feeling like a schoolgirl with a crush on a boy in her class.

I mean do I like him? How can I when I don't even know anything about him that hasn't printed and possibly reworded in a magazine?

Hell, is it even worth it? We're talking an international superstar here who has women falling all over his feet almost everywhere he goes, many of whom don't care that he's been off the market for over a year. And despite the words of the encouragement from the girls, what would make me any different? What would he see in me? Suddenly his voice knocks me out of my thoughts.

"Are you ladies decent?" He says while doing what sounds like an awful impersonation of Mary Poppins.

"Yes," the girls reply harmoniously.

Poking his head through the curtains he smiles at us, showing us all 32 of his pearly whites. I feel my stomach flip-flop. Yeah, this feeling-whatever it is-definitely worth it.

"So this is where all the noise is coming from. What ya'll talkin' about in here?"

The girls all turn their heads toward me. "Yeah little one, what have we been chattin' about in here?" My sister asks with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Oh these wenches are going down after the show. But if Ava wants to play that game, I'll play.

"Oh nothing…just talking about the time when Ava liked this guy in high school and got so nervous when she tried to ask him to the Spring dance that she threw up all over his shoes. What was his name again A? Ah yes, Eric Bradshaw, the senior quarterback…" I reminisce evilly. Judging from the look on my sister's face right now, that will probably be the last memory I'll have to reminisce on.

"Ew-I mean oh Ava, that's too bad," Justin says awkwardly while trying to hold back his laughter. "I'm going to go finish warming up, see you ladies on stage." He disappears as his hearty laugh echoes from outside the dressing room

"I am going to kill you!" Ava threatens, lunging toward me.

"Now, now sis," I admonish playfully, "You don't want to waste all your energy on me; you've got a show to put on."

It's 7:16 and the girls need to go take their places. I give my sister a hug for good luck while she gives me a cocked eyebrow and a waving fist as a sign of what's to come tonight when we get back to the hotel. We both know that she's just kidding though. I tell the rest of the girls good luck and to look for me in VIP.

I'm the last one out of the dressing room as I make my way to the arena floor when I get the feeling that someone is watching me. Instinctively I turn around to see the superstar himself, staring at me, now with a shy smile on his face because he just got caught.

I smile back and mouth "Good luck" to him.

He winks and smiles back, stealing my breath as he walks away.

Let the show begin.
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The Downtown Marriott; Room 231, 12:32 a.m.

HOT damn!

Yeah Justin couldn't have said it better himself because tonight's show was off the chain. The band sounded awesome, the dancers were sick, and Justin? Is it possible to have multiple orgasms during a concert? Hell, I think I lost my virginity tonight.

With each song; he sung, danced, and played his heart out, leaving it on the stage-making me hot and bothered with every lick of his lips, twist of his hips and note he hit.

Let me stop before I explode just thinking about it. If it's going to be like this for the rest of the tour, mom was a genius for sending me on tour with Ava.

Ava, my sister, my incredibly talented sister who made me so proud tonight as she graced that stage. Watching her made me realize what a person could achieve when they follow their heart and their dreams. I just wish I were as fearless as her. I guess I've always been afraid to go after the things I want because rejection seems to be my middle name. It's something I've gotten accustomed to over my 19 years so I'd rather prevent it before all hell breaks loose.

I hate to be so pessimistic, but when you always finish second place in life, even when you try your best, it's hard to think that you can do any better.

"I am tired," my sister groans out after exiting out of the bathroom in a towel.

"Working it like you were tonight, I don't blame you. So where we off to next?"

"ATL shawty," she giggles, pulling out some sweats and a t-shirt to wear for our long ride. "We're leaving in about an hour so you can sleep on the bus. You almost ready?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty much ready to go since I didn't take anything out my bag earlier."

Ava makes her way back into the bathroom to dress, but leaves the door open. "Cool. So you really liked the show? Be honest," she says emphatically.

"Woman, did you not hear me showering you with all my love and admiration after we left the arena?" I ask.

"I know, I know. I just want to make sure you're not telling me that because you're my family and you're supposed to love me," Ava jokes.

"Psh, yeah I'm supposed to, but that don't mean I have to." I say before I burst into giggles. Now fully dressed, my sister emerges from the bathroom, laughing with me before tackling me on the bed.

"You know, I'm still going to get back at you for telling Justin about Eric Bradshaw. I don't know how and I don't know when, but it will happen so watch your back little one," she says half-jokingly. Oh god, I hope she doesn't say anything to her boss about me. I swear I will get lost in some random city on purpose just to avoid humiliation when it comes to that man.

"Stop thinking about him," she warns as she reads my thoughts. I hate when she does that.

"I'm not!" I whine. "I'm thinking about how cute Nick was tonight," I sort of lie. I'll admit Nick definitively caught my eye tonight. It's like he glides on ice when he dances he's so smooth.

"You'se a damn lie 'La. Don't think I didn't see your eyes almost pop out of your skull during "SexyBack" when Justin grabbed his dick. Gave you a heart attack, huh?" She laughs as I hide my face with my hands.

"Shut up A!" I retort even though I'm smiling. My laughter abruptly stops before I bring my voice down to a whisper. "Does he do that freaky stuff to ya'll during every show?"

"Oh so now you want to know all the secrets!" Ava laughs at my curiosity. "But to answer your question, those hands grace my body multiple times throughout the show."

I scoff. "Lucky bitch." Ava just laughs. Her laughter subsides however and she gets serious.

"Selah, I know you think that Justin is your dream guy, but that's all it is; a dream or an illusion. I'm not saying that you can't think he's attractive and have a little crush on him, but don't let your infatuation get you in trouble-or worse, hurt. We've been there and done that haven't we?" She questions while insinuating at the same time.

Of all times to bring that guy up. I mean I feel like I'm 99.9% over him. So why am I letting what happened between us prevent me from opening up to someone else? Ugh, I refuse to think about that right now though.

"Yeah A, we have. But I'm fine now-better now and I don't think about that shit anymore."

"Are you sure? Because I don't need to get fired for kicking my boss' ass for breaking my baby sister's heart," she says laced with attitude. I love my sister.

"Yes I'm sure, crazy," I laugh at her antics. "But I hear you loud and clear. I mean like you said, it's just a dream."

Getting up to go to the bathroom, I think about how right my sister is. That's why I'm thankful that she always watching out for messes before I step in them. I know the heart wants what it wants, but in the case of my heart, it always seems to make me do some stupid things. Getting so wrapped up in a superstar could be one of them so I'm stopping while I'm ahead. Besides, I don't know anything about Justin other than his superstar status and the fact that he's unattainable. Yeah, falling for him would be like dreaming and never wanting to wake up.

But deep down inside, I don't think I would want to.