But my grandmother passed away on December 27th of last year. She was my right arm, as they say. It's the first time that someone so close to me has
passed. My grandfather starting dating my grandmother's best friend a few weeks after grandma's death, and they married in July. So now they're
both coming down for christmas and i'm angry about that. I mean, i'm red faced, bitter kind of angry. Albeit it's been pointed out how
"dark" and "twisty" I am, as well as somewhat angry at times.. so of course people think i'm overreacting and maybe I am? I just know
that I'm not in any kind of festive mood this year, I don't know how to cope with my grandmother's death and I don't think I ever will, and it
takes every fiber in my being to look at his new wife and attempt a smile at her. I just feel.. I don't know. She was in a nursing home that was abusive to
her, so abusive that they did not turn her every two hours like they were supposed to, so she had a bed sore the size of ... a basketball, a little bigger, on
her bottom. Then she got a bed sore on her foot and they had to amputate it. Then she couldn't swallow anything so they gave her a feeding tube. While my
mother and I fought tooth and nail to get her out of that nursing home, my grandfather since he was her spouse, had the say and not us. My grandfather
basically swept it under a rug and kept her there with no questions, no explanations, no common sense and i've just felt the entire time since then that he
could have very well saved her life. She didn't have to die under that amount of pain and confusion. It must have been nothing short of torture for her. My
heart aches and I've found myself being just furious with my grandfather since. He and I were never close to begin with, and I do hold a certain amount of
respect because he is my elder, my grandfather, but aside from all of that? I'm angry at him. I'm angry that he let my grandma suffer that way. I'm
angry he hitched up with her best friend. I'm angry that his new wife wants my nieces to call her granny. There's too much to list, but yeah. So,
i'm being irrational?
I might be irrational right now ... :/
| Started By | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 Jakki314 |
I might be irrational right now ... :/ |
Lead | |
|
Posts: 1464 (12/22/2009 1:05 PM) |
|
||
|
Queen Skeezah |
|||
|
Posts: 2047 (12/22/2009 1:13 PM) |
I don't know if you are being irrational or not but I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. When I first started reading I was going to
comment that perhaps your grandfather and his new wife found comfort in each other since they were both so close to your grandmother, but then I read on
further to see that you have issues with your grandfather because you don't think he did all he could to help your grandmother.
Again I haven't answered your question but I do wish you nothing but peace...maybe your grandfather and his new wifey should be a bit more sensitive to the feelings of the rest of the family. |
||
|
RedShimmerPlatforms |
|||
|
Posts: 521 (12/22/2009 1:36 PM) |
Yikes, I am so sorry that you are in this position. Damn though what a "best friend" to your grandma.
|
||
|
rachaelthinksbeesareokay |
|||
|
Posts: 4323 (12/22/2009 1:42 PM) Grammar Cop '09
|
I think your feelings are totally valid. I wouldn't share them with anybody in your family, and don't hold it against him. He's old, and if I'm
guessing ages correctly, in about ten years it won't matter what your nieces called your step-grandmother.
|
||
|
Alex the Goob |
|||
|
Posts: 54949 (12/22/2009 2:02 PM) |
I would be infuriated! Wow. That's horrible, I'm sorry.
|
||
|
Lilla Bean |
|||
|
Posts: 1911 (12/22/2009 2:07 PM) |
Damn, you have every right to be pissed off. If I were you, I'd put up a big picture of my grandma in a visible place like near the tree or over the
fireplace with some decorations around it. No one should dare question why the photo is there, and it makes a statement about how you feel, you know?
|
||
|
KDreamer |
|||
|
Posts: 12682 (12/22/2009 2:28 PM) |
You have every right to be angry, but I agree with "bee" I wouldn't express this to anyone in your family, especially not now. Be at peace that
you fought and did all you could for grandma and remember her being the loving kind and caring woman she was to you. No one can take that away, especially at
the holidays.
|
||
|
YodaManSkeeto |
|||
|
Posts: 2158 (12/22/2009 4:11 PM) JJB Therapist '07 |
You remember your grandmother well. How would she want you to behave? Honor her memory and at least be civil. But in your heart, you can be as angry as you
wish. I don't blame you at all.
|
||
|
JCcai |
|||
|
Posts: 336 (12/22/2009 4:25 PM) |
Do you know how your sibling feel about new wife wanting the nieces calling her "granny"? That's a little too much too fast. How does the rest of
your family feel?
|
||
